Dear Abby: Student longs for hometown left behind in move overseas
Published 6:00 am Saturday, February 27, 2021
DEAR ABBY: I recently moved from the U.S. to Germany. It has been a big change, and I honestly don’t know how to handle it. A lot of the kids at school make fun of me and call me names.
My family plans to stay here another two years. My parents say that when/if we move back to the United States, we won’t return to our hometown. I find this hard to accept because it was the only home I’ve ever known. I tried asking them if I could live with a friend there, but they always brush me off.
I don’t want my family to worry about me since my mom is working hard going back to college, but keeping my feelings bottled up inside seems like the wrong choice. Should I tell them honestly how I feel or keep crying into my pillow every night?
— LOST AND DEPRESSED
DEAR LOST: Crying in your pillow every night isn’t productive. You should ABSOLUTELY tell your parents everything you are experiencing — that you are being bullied at school and made to feel you don’t fit in, and that you miss your old hometown terribly. They might want to consult with the school administrator about it.
Geographical distance does not mean you must lose relationships forever. While moving back to the town you left may not be practical, you can keep in touch with your friends online and may eventually be able to visit them.
DEAR ABBY: A beautiful flower arrangement was delivered to me at my home today. While on the phone, I told my friend about the thoughtful gift and mentioned that my two cats wouldn’t leave it alone. She said, “I hope there aren’t any lilies in it!” There were, Abby — white oriental lilies. I Googled it and discovered they are very poisonous to cats, although not to other animals. When I called the florist, they claimed not to know. Thought your readers should!
— LOVES MY FELINES
DEAR LOVES: I agree. And thank you for sharing that information. I learned from my own Google search that lilies are not the only flowers that are poisonous for pets. Azaleas, daffodils, amaryllis, chrysanthemums, tulips, oleander, hyacinth, English ivy, sago palm, cyclamen, autumn crocus, widow’s thrill, hydrangea, aloe vera, caladium, pothos, philodendron, lily of the valley, castor bean, poinsettia, asparagus fern, peace lily and corn plants can be lethal as well. Kitty lovers, be warned!
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a single woman (me) to continue a neighborhood friendship with a widower who is now dating a woman? He shared homemade soup with me weekly, leaving it at my door, and occasionally we would have tea together on our decks. I feel awkward; he does not. Should I go with my gut?
— STUMPED
DEAR STUMPED: It would be a shame to lose a good friend. Talk to him about the awkwardness you are feeling. Perhaps it can be resolved. However, if it can’t, then follow your instincts and step back.
DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old son lives with me for financial reasons, and I love him dearly. He helps with bills and works a full-time job. My only problem with him is he wears the same pair of pants for weeks without washing them and hasn’t washed his sheets in months. I didn’t raise him that way. He does take a shower every night.
He owns only one pair of pants, and I can’t get him to buy another pair. I have complained to him several times about the bad smell. How can I get him to change his ways?
— FED-UP MOTHER IN TEXAS
DEAR FED UP: At this point in his life, that may not be possible. It seems strange to me that someone who smells bad could hold a full-time job, but I will take your word for it. The easiest solution to your problem might be for you to wash his bedding every few weeks. As to the fact that he has only one pair of pants, buy him a pair for his next birthday or for Christmas — whichever comes sooner.